By Lucia Amsden
FLOWING WITH EQUANIMITY
Nothing could have been more welcome than this first message and meditation, sent to me by Deborah Singleton and arriving by e-mail in the early months of the COVID pandemic. The subject was “Quieting, Calming, Soothing, and Change” and just reading these words with the energy behind them, I immediately felt comforted. These hopeful thoughts were something I needed. At the time, we were all facing fear of an unknown virus, confusing information and guidance, and general isolation was the norm. The pandemic not only affected us personally, but also impacted our entire world.
There was so much clamoring and noise going on inside of me that fear took over at times. Being older and with an immune condition, I and so many others were at great risk for catching the virus, with all the possible dire consequences. We each faced unique situations and had our own responses to how this reality might affect us and our family and friends.
The life we led had to change and adapt. Before, most of us lived on automatic. Our days were busily filled with activities, people, work, errands, and travel. Suddenly our activities, the people we saw, and our general lifestyle had to be re-evaluated in terms of our own safety and that of those around us. We were often left with an empty gap of loss between life “before” the pandemic, and the unknown of “after.”
In this lesson, the concept of equanimity is introduced and defined as an ability we have within us “to learn to be okay with what’s happening in the moment, even, and perhaps especially when we want something different.” The message goes on to describe equanimity as “not a thought or emotion, but more an inner relaxed calm – a smoothness – a flow that is present within, and so much more, no matter what is happening.”
As these fourteen messages and meditations arrived over the following months, I felt as if I had walked into a spiritual classroom where I was discovering more deeply my inner capabilities and qualities. They had been shyly waiting within me, to be strengthened and nourished.
During that time of fear, with all the disruptions that the COVID period brought, the voice in this series began by giving me a way to accept change and learn more deeply to be quiet and calm, and to soothe myself, no matter what was happening. It introduced to me the rather illusive concept of equanimity: going with the flow without resistance. Equanimity has become a strong current within me, an aspect of the way I live. And each message that followed affected me just as deeply.
My hope is that as I share my personal journey with these meditations, you, my fellow traveler, will find your own unique pathways to integrate the hopeful thoughts that they so lovingly offer.