By Lucia Amsden
Who Am I – TRULY?
When asked who we are, we usually say, “I am” and then list the roles we have, the work we do, and the interests and activities in which we engage. Those things are the sources of our self-esteem. Am I good mother or father, sister, or brother? Do I excel at being an artist or am I good at my job, and on and on.
It is interesting to on occasion ask ourselves, “how do I judge myself? Is my judgement based on the good or bad conditions of my life? If outside criteria are used as the primary basis of describing who I am, then I am always vulnerable to unpredictable and sometimes unhappy events or situations. I am only satisfied with myself if my children, spouses, work, or other external factors are going well. What happens, though, to us when we have a troubled child or experience a divorce, or financial hardships, health issues, or other hardships or losses come along?
I came to realize that when I defined myself by my problems, my mind and emotions would automatically immerse me in them, and as a result I would get worn down and frazzled, and my self-esteem would plummet. But now I am learning to separate my self-perception from my situations, which allows to be more loving and kinder to myself and those around me.
I have worked hard in the last few years to see myself from my spiritual place, my essence. The powerful frequency and energy of this series has enhanced my awareness of the light I am, my spiritual core, and my relationship with the Universe. These aspects of me are who I really am, no matter what challenges arise in my daily life.
As I become quieter and more centered, and less mentally and emotionally immersed in the ups and downs of the outside world, I discover space inside me where I feel more connected with the pure light of existence.
In Deborah Singleton’s introduction to this series, she reminds us that we have a relationship with the Universe that is a sacred covenant. The consciousness of that covenant is mutual: it flows back and forth, providing me with wisdom and energy to discover and express who I am from a higher perspective.
I am enjoying and reaping the benefits of making these meditations an integral part of my life. Over the last few years, for instance, I have been taught various physical therapy exercises that I do at home, and now when I do them, I use use my breath to better feel my body in concert with my spirit.
My inner Drill Sargent, who counts and make sure I am doing things right, has been partnered with my growing awareness of what is going on throughout my being. I’m not just counting exercises and hurrying to get it done; I center and quiet myself and deeply breathe positive energy into my actions. What a wonderful way that is, for my mind and body to get to know each other.